say what you need to say

frustration looms all around me. everything annoys me. hmpf. today has been the longest day ever. honestly i am soooo tired. i am glad another work week is over.

the database and file maker is killing me. luckily we have all the regular students in there. all we have left are the international students. although applications still don't have deposits and deposits still don't have applications, which creates more work for us. summer wait list is slowly getting shorter thankfully.

i have packed up almost all of my room. minus my bed stuff, the clothes i need for the next couple days and some other random things. haha my ocd is definitely showing. i color coded my hangers after taking out all my clothes. :] my bathroom is pretty much done, minus the stuff i am still using. i haven't even touched the kitchen. i don't even want to think about it. i still need to vacuum the whole place, clean the bathroom and kitchen and then i should be good to go. this weekend is dedicated to packing and moving. we are moving into our house on sunday. finally. i need to call our landlord tomorrow and remind him to be at the house at 7am to give us the keys.

i need to remember tomorrow to fill up my tank before gas goes up again. ugh. and i need to pay my credit card and my car insurance. can't forget can't forget.

saw sex and the city at midnight last night with ginger, jean, lisa and lori. that was fun. :] and it was good, as usual. highlight of my week.

i am really sick of people not calling me back. seriously if you say your going to call me back, freaking do it already.

already ready for bed. i am so exhausted. too much time in front of the computer. too much time reading file maker lists. too many applications. not enough sleep.

off to shower and sleep. too tired to do anything else.

can you feel this, my heart beating out of my chest

sharone is gone. sarah is gone, plus i didn't get to say goodbye. roommate is in vegas. libbi moves to eugene on friday. i think it has finally hit me that its summer. now that everyone is slowly leaving. its really sad. now if only the weather would reflect this time of year.

went to bed at 6am this morning. sharone and i decided it would be a good idea to stay awake to take her to the airport rather than only getting a couple hours of sleep. her first all-nighter. my first since freshman year. man i was super super tired. totally crashed when i got home. and then was awaken by a wonderful picture text message from matt of a hawaiian sunrise... very very jealous. :]

here are some of last night's crazy pictures of me and sharone
this week is going to be spent cleaning, laundry, packing and getting things ready to move on sunday. i am quite excited about moving, i just don't want to have to do all the work to prepare it. that's the hard part.

sharone and i both got our hair done yesterday. i ended up chopping 3 inches off because i wanted something a little different. :] i couldn't make myself completely chop it cause it took forever to grown out.
weird that i have to go back to work tomorrow. kinda depressing actually. since the rest of the week at least if not longer is going to be spent creating the stupid housing database. i will be very happy when its all over and done with. :]

i need to pay my car insurance, my credit card and my tire payment. thankfully i got my grandpa to hold the check that i gave him, so i have a little cushion till i get my paycheck and such.

alright i need to finish up making these cd's for libbi before she gets here. we are off to spend probably our last night together for a very long while. quite sad, not gonna lie.

what if i told you your tears haven't been ignored

finished my first week of full time work. lets just say its going to be a very long summer. so monday was pretty easy, we just purged a lot of old housing files and cleaned out lisa's filing cabinets preparing for the next housing year. for the rest of the week i have been creating and entering data into the new housing database. it takes a very long time and is very tedious. you have to make sure to enter all the information correctly or the whole database gets messed up. once that is done its on to matching roommates, but the database is going to take at least till the end of the month.

sharone leaves on monday for hawaii. which means we are staying up all night cause we have to leave for the airport at like 3:30 or 4am since her flight is at 6am. that means that sarah is leaving on monday as well. i will have to find her and say goodbye.

its weird cause even though i have been out of school for almost 2 weeks now and have been working for a week it doesn't feel like summer at all. it just feels like i don't have class during the day, but that it is still school. i am hoping that will change soon.

still very jealous my roommate gets to go to vegas. grrrr.

i think we finally figured out that we get to move into our house on the 1st. we still don't know what we are going to take from the storage unit, or what we actually still need. we should probably figure that out sometime relatively soon. so i can let my parents know what's up.

i need to eat something before we leave. off to find food.

edit: ugh... so as of right now my external hard drive is dead. :( sharone was moving stuff and it all of a sudden stopped working. so tomorrow will be filled with getting quotes of how much its going to cost to fix it cause i really don't want to lose all my music and school documents and pictures.

this is will be the second summer i have gone through this crap. i really hope this time turns out better then last time.

i'm getting ready to let you go

today has been an interesting day to say the least. i have been in a weird mood all day. not really sure how to explain it or why, but i just have been.

woke up late this morning. it was the weather's fault. frustrated that i got up late, rushed to get ready. work today involved me sitting at the computer working on the new Filemaker database for housing next fall. that is all i am going to be doing for the rest of the month. so time consuming and tedious. you have to pay freaking close attention, cause if you don't then you get totally lost and screw the whole database up. i got really annoyed with the emails today too. some people are just stupid and have no freaking common sense. or are freaking lazy. like one email, someone asked if they could get the phone number or contact information for the mail room.... good god look it up on the damn online directory. that is what its there for. freaking still haven't gotten my portfolio back. i got the email saying it was graded in my box, so i go to look... nope not there. but everyone else had their's in their box. finally got the rest of my grades posted... i missed the dean's list by less than .1 on my gpa for the semester. grrr. i know its not a big deal but i just really wanted to get it this semester again. ugh, sorry i'm just venting a little.

on a better note. got to have dinner with austyn today. :] which is always good. i miss that girl. i am glad we are both in the grove for the summer. that will be nice. so anyways... after dinner we went to goodwill so she could look for more professional shirts since she is doing job interviews and such. well she found a dress for me that was only $5.99. :] super cute and its green. my roommate will be proud of me. then i was just looking at the purses cause i want a new one and i totally find a authentic coach purse. its super small, BUT it was only $4.99. and yes its real. it made my day better. :]

i am getting my hair cut on sunday. :] finally. i am not quite sure what i am going to do. i might just get it trimmed or some inches off of it. not quite sure. not sure what to do about my side bang things either. we will see.

i think i am only going to work a half day tomorrow, since i have to take a full day off to make up for working saturday. so half day tomorrow, half day maybe thursday or friday. not sure. maybe just a half day next week. i did find out today that i got a raise. i went from making $8.50 to making $9.00. :] always a good thing to make more money. i need to figure out when i am taking vacation. in order to completely pay me for the summer i have to take a total of 2 weeks unpaid vacation. so i am thinking a couple trips to washington and probably home. so we will see what i do.

off to read. already on my second book of the summer. :]

i could never stumble with you walking by my side

oh it feels so good to be done. i am officially a senior. how scary is that... i'll tell you. pretty freaking scary. i'm sure over the summer it will grow on me and i will be excited, but as of now i am super scared of what my future is going to bring and what life is going to bring.

this past week has been pretty crazy, but its really nice to be able to breathe easy and not have to worry about anything major other than working full time starting on monday. :] oh joy. actually i think its going to be good. lisa and ryan will keep me entertained so it should be fun.

so far 4 of my 6 grades are up. i got a pass in my field experience, which was expected. a B in my art history which i am actually pretty happy about cause i thought it was going to be worse. an A in two of my 3 education method classes, which i was also expecting. the only two i have left are my tuesday 4 hour class, which i know that i should get an A in and my ed psych friday class. i am hoping for an A, but my grade was a super low A before a couple of assignments, so hopefully it will stay that way.

yesterday sharone and i went and picked up her friend angela, who came from vegas to visit. we ended up going to cannon beach for the day. it was a lot of fun. the girls took a zillion pictures, which was hilarious. i proceeded to get sunburned while we were over there. i am a little lobster on my shoulders, arms and back. once sharone gives me the pictures i will post some.

for now here are a couple pictures that sophie took. they show my lobsterness quite well. :]


today was graduation for the class of 2008. its crazy that in just one year its going to be me graduating. scary. today was filled with a lot of hugs, lots of pictures, and i am pretty sure i said "congrats" about a billion times. :] i didn't cry, which was good. kathy almost made me cry, but i held it together. i also put in a full day of work today too, which means i get to take a day of during this week to make up for it. :] yay.

i think tomorrow i am going to get some more storage bins, because i have accumulated soooo much stuff. quite possibly do a little shopping as well. i want a new purse and wallet. so that's my mission for tomorrow.

off to call sharone and then head to bed. super drained from today.

pictures of you, pictures of me, hung up on your wall for the world to see

i feel lost and overwhelmed and stressed and on top of all of that just very confused. the stress of finals is taking its tole on me. and i only have my portfolio left. i think its just the fact that its all coming to an end so fast that makes it all worse.

people are getting ready to leave, people i am going to miss. i hate missing people. somehow it always makes things worse. makes it hard to think about.

on a lighter note... my dad finally got a job! very exciting. things are finally starting to look up for my parents, so hopefully things will be a little happier around home. always a good thing.

stupid portfolio is going to be the death of me. i swear. i am only 1/3 of the way done with it so far. i still have 2 more goals to complete and reflect on. goodness i am so sick of reflecting on things. i swear all my finals required me to "reflect" back on the semester. bleh. i am just ready to be done with this semester already.

tomorrow i have work most of the day. then its off to berglund to work on my portfolio some more. i also need to turn in my art history take home final by 5:30. and return the video camera and tripod. and of course one tree hill with kathy so i can actually breathe for at least an hour. tuesday i should get up early and work on my portfolio some more then i have to go to work till class at 5. hopefully i can finish my portfolio by then so i can turn it in. if not i have till thursday. after its turned in i am officially done! thank goodness. :] then there is nothing to worry about till i have to move into the house.

heard from someone that i haven't talked to in probably close to a year like a week ago. not sure how i feel about it. it was really out of the blue. it would be nice to catch up, but i am not sure if i'm ready.

new song my sister found, pictures of you by the last goodnight. listening to it over and over. :] loveeeeee it.

i need to go and buy some more storage bins cause i have collected more stuff that the ones i have doesn't store everything. never a good sign. probably just two will work, hopefully.

off to clean and pack a little while i wait for my roommate to come home and then its off to bed.

she's almost perfect but she's not

classes are done. :] i am completely done with 2 classes already for the semester. all i have left is my paper for my friday presentation. monday my art history take home test is due and i need to turn in my classroom management plan to erica. tuesday i have our group video and my portfolio, which we are done filming yet for our video and we still have to edit and i haven't even thought about my portfolio. i'm actually scared to think about it. but that that i am done for the semester. :D

i have procrastinated so much today. i have done everything but what i really need to be doing. i should be writing my paper so i can be done with friday's class. then i should be working on my classroom management plan and then my take home test and of course my portfolio, but i really don't have any desire to. i just want to be lazy. but probably not the best idea.

my car is falling apart. again. :( my door is separated again and i have to be super careful of how i shut it. my gas mileage is going down the drain yet again. my stereo only works when it wants to. i really need to wash it and vacuum the inside of it. its absolutely disgusting.

i have thought about starting to pack specific things away that i am not going to need for the rest of the school year. books, textbooks, movies, pictures. just stuff that i am not going to use.

more procrastination. :]

it's gonna make it hard to tell you that i'm leaving

getting closer and it makes me so happy. :]

less stressed, but still a lot to do. i am completely done with one class already. turned in and presented my final on thursday. one down, 4 more to go. filming tomorrow for tuesdays class. that's gonna be wonderful since we have no i dea what we are even doing. monday we are presenting our final project, so i will be done with ed 431 after that. :] tuesday my resourse purchase report is due in ed 343. my art history final became a take home final which makes me really happy, so we are getting that tuesday as well and its due monday the 12th. friday i am presenting my final video project and turning in my paper for ed 420. tuesday the 13th is my last day for the semester. :] that day i have one more math reflection due, which i think i am going to turn in early, our group video project and then my portfolio on my progress within the class, which i haven't even thought about. then i will be done.

on top of that i still have to get all my hours for my field experience and make sure i fill out all the paperwork and get it in on time.

my mom's birthday is on the 9th. i need to remember to send her card. i wanted to send flowers to her, but i am not sure how much that would cost.

i need to start thinking about packing things. i mean i don't have to move into my house till the end of the month cause that's when the other's people lease ends. so i am staying in vandervelden for free cause i work for housing. :] one of the perks. so i have more time to pack and such than other people.

i got invited to be a chaperone (or however you spell it) on my 1st/2nd grade split class trip to the tillamook forest center on june 3rd. i am not sure if i am going to go, but my mentor teacher said it would make for an excellent letter of recommendation. so i might just do it for that. and i think it would be fun.

my math relfection and my 5-7 page paper is calling my name. i have procrastinated enough and now i really need to start them.