Monday, March 31, 2008

and there's no better feeling in the world

i can't believe that spring break is already over. but it was a nice break. not long enough of course, but good. went home for the first time in 3 months. saw my familia. saw a lot of friends i hadn't seen in months and even years. attempted to do some homework. managed to get sick. :( and still am. finally got new tires for my car. did some bonding with my sister over the oc. :] always a good thing. and just being lazy in general.

now its back to the grind of things. and i am already overwhelmed and stressed. oh joy. tons of reading, papers, projects, assigments, lesson plans and oh so many things to do. mail my taxes out, advising for fall semester with an idiot adviser who is never there. ugh.

on a brighter note... we basically have the house for next year! :] and i am quite excited about that. one less thing to worry about, other than the money side of things. but that can wait, for now at least. speaking of money. should get the housing lottery money back, my tax refund and my annuity money, so i think i will be alright, even though i am not working a lot right now.

there are so many people either getting engaged, married, having kids or a combination of the three. its crazy. every time i turn around i hear of someone else. eeek!

i have no motivation to do anything. i hate being sick. all i want to do is crawl in bed in my sweats and read or watch the oc or sleep. tomorrow nights class is going to kill me. ugh.

okay i guess i should try and work on my art history paper. doubt it will happen, but a girl can dream.

oh jillian i hope you had a good first day back in classes! i am sure you did great.
and dani... i am all alone in the apartment and its very sad. i hope your teaching is going well. and i am happy your outfit worked today. hehe ;]

Thursday, March 13, 2008

just take your time it's only life

these are the 10 people that have made the biggest impact on my life. without them i would be lost.

1. you are one of the strongest people i know. you have been through so much in your life and i have watched you grow into someone who is so strong. you are constantly watching over me making sure i am doing alright. you have always been there for me when i have needed you, whether it was just to chat, to vent or to cry on your shoulder. i know i can always count on you to be my solid ground when i feel like crumbling. you were the one who always pushed me to do better and for that i am thankful. i love you and will always.

2. i don't know how i lived without you in my life. these past few years have been amazing and i am proud to say you are one of my bestest friends. :] i have loved our time together, even if sometimes i questioned how we ever became friends. we are two totally different people and i laugh at the fact that people think its weird that you and i are friends. we are both so messed up within our lives that we just fit together and that makes me happy. :] from the first night we met on valentine's day i knew i had met a true friend. from then on we have become more than friends, more like sisters that God forgot to put together. we have been through a lot together over these past 3 years, both good and bad, but we have overcome them all. i know you will always be there for me and you know that i will always be there for you. i love you my experimental other half... hehe ;] sorry just had to say it.

3. even though we aren't directly related i still think of you as one of my mom's. you were my mom away from my mom, if that makes sense. you helped me discover my passion, with a few bumps in the road of course. i knew i could always count on you for advise. you were a different point of view and i liked that. you watched me grow into a stronger person. our lunch talks were always a lot of fun. you kept my secrets safe until it was time to let them go and i thank you for that. even though i don't email you as often as i would like, i still think about you all the time. thank you for a wonderful 4 years.

4. we grew up together. our friendship started in 7th grade and from them on you were my best friend. college happened and for a year we lost touch. we were off doing our own things and finding ourselves in this great big world, but somehow we found each other again and i am grateful we did. i missed talking to you. now its everyday and i love it. you are always there to listen to me vent, which sometimes i feel like i do a lot and i don't mean to, but you are a good listener and no matter what you say you give good advise. if i'm having a bad day you somehow know and in someway you always make me feel better. the smallest thing from you means the world to me. i love you and i love that you are back in my life.

5. i don't know if you will ever know this or not, but i look up to you more than you know. summers with you were always fun, especially the summer i lived with you. it was my home away from home for a while. you always made me feel welcome, even if sometimes i felt like an outsider. you are the most craftiest person i know. you know how to turn things others would see as junk into a masterpiece. one day i hope to do the same. i love you for who you are and am grateful to call you family.

6. my weird hawaiian. boo! :] our 4 hour talk made it all. that year was crazy. so much drama and so much to talk about. from then on we were inseparable. even though we aren't as close as we used to be, you still changed me in ways i wouldn't have though imaginable. you opened up my eyes to new things, things i wouldn't have thought twice to look at. you are such a strong person and i look up to you for that. you are more beautiful than you think you are. this past year alone you have grown into such a strong woman. watching you go through life and change has made me really think about my life. i love you for what you have accomplished. follow your hopes and dreams and one day you will change the world, i know it. i love you my weird hawaiian.

7. i know there are more than one of you, but if you think about it you are all the same. you all may not have done the same things in the same way, but it all amounted to the same thing. being with all of you has made me grow as a person and made me realized that i don't have to rely on someone else to make me happy. true that having someone makes a person happy, but that's not what it amounts too. i wouldn't take back any of the time with any of you because that time with any of you was wonderful. i just want to thank you for helping me realize what is important in life.

8. fridays with you are what i look forward to during the week, that and one tree hill of course. haha :] but you understand the importance of that. you are one of my best friends. we haven't known each other very long, but we just clicked and its been great ever since. i remember the august night when i met you, i was already in my pajama's and you came back with my roommate and i didn't realize you were a student here and from them on our friendship grew. you are always the one i can go to when i need to talk, about anything. you know almost everything about me, or at least the most someone can know and i know that you understand me for who i am. i love our weekends when we end up together the whole time. all of our trips to washington, v.s., home (mine of course, since yours is far away), and the many more we will have. i love you!

9. living with you this past summer was amazing. we are the perfect roommates, minus the fact that you are getting married in february!! :] i am so excited for that, of course not more than you. i love you more than you will know. growing up we weren't very close, but over these past few years away at college has brought us close together. you have helped me to see the bigger picture and not just the little world we are in. i am proud to say you are my best friend and i love you. there is so much more both of us has to experience and i am happy to have you on my side. you're amazing!

10. probably the strongest and smartest man i know. i love you more than you will ever know. you are my hero and i look up to you. you are the one person i know who understands the choices that i make, you may not agree with all of them, but i know that if i tell you something you will understand why i do what i do or say what i say. you always stood up for me when no one else would. that shows me how much you care. you are always making sure i am happy, even when you are far away. i know i don't call as much as i should, but that doesn't mean i love you any less. you are constantly in my mind. i think about you always. i love you unconditionally and always will.

all of you have made me who i am today and without any of you i don't know where i would be today. i can honestly say you have all changed me for the better. you are all amazing, don't ever forget that.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

i wish i could follow you to the shores of freedom

today is apparently not my day. i was supposed to be at a meeting at noon today. i didn't wake up till 12:15 which means i slept through both of my alarms. ugh. i was so mad when i woke up. i was supposed to buy mine and my parents lu'au tickets but my dad didn't put my money in my account soon enough so i have to do it tomorrow. i went to the store to get a few things i needed, came back to the apartment and realized i forgot to get turkey, which i have been craving for like a week now. forgot to photocopy papers i needed when i went to print my art history reading in student life. ugh.

found out i only have $317 left on my work study to last me for 3 months. :( that's my income for the next 3 months... not gonna work. grrrr.

i have a week and a half to figure out where i am living and who i am living with. stuff for housing is due the friday before spring break, i have until then to decide what i want to do. i thought i had it all figured out with ginger, but now i am having second thoughts and we really need to talk about it. good thing she is coming to visit me tonight. :] hopefully something will get finalized. hopefully. there is always sharone too, but she still has a lot to figure out too.

after waiting forever to get my field experience i finally get in contact with the teacher i am working with. she is a 1st grade teacher at an elementary school in forest grove. :] i have to call her on friday to figure out a schedule, but i am really excited to actually be in a classroom, plus i have an assignment due really soon that involves me being in a school.

debra is playing saturday night at mcmenamins :] i am really excited. haven't seen her play since november i think. when sharone and i took a day trip to philomath to watch her.

i hate living weekend to weekend. that is what life has become. hating the week and wishing the weekends were longer.

i need to return my sweater that doesn't fit to american eagle still. maybe exchange it for a smaller size or just return to get the money back. maybe i will do that friday when sharone and i go out.

found out my cd/dvd drive isn't working on my computer. i can't watch dvd's or make or listen to any cd's on my computer. i need to call dell since my computer is still under warranty till august. i hate calling dell. ugh.

i should probably clean up the clothes in my room, put some stuff away, and call dell. then its art history reading. oh joy.

edit: I HATE DELL!! just got off the phone with them. getting a new optical drive. grrrr. good thing i don't have to pay for it though.
oh and i hate life. grrrr.

Sunday, March 9, 2008

so when i come back i won't say a word

oh goodness. i love the weekends. hate that they aren't long enough to get everything done. i still have a lot of reading to do, but on the bright side i did get my quilt square done yesterday... that took me a while, but it was actually pretty fun. okay maybe not fun, but something different. midterm on tuesday that i have to make flashcards for. paper due tuesday along with a ton of reading. oh joy. i still need to email erica and figure out what i am going to be doing for for my micro-teaching next week.

finally got my field experience placement... only took 5 or 6 weeks... good god. that's what makes me mad about the college of education here. they are so unorganized and no one actually talks to each other so when you ask a question you get like 5 different answers.

solid rock on friday was amazing. i am really glad kelly talked me into going. i really want to go back. :]

spring break is in two weeks. too bad its going to be the longest 2 weeks ever. 3 projects, 4 papers, two midterms, and a couple in class assignments. plus all the reading on top of that...

found out my mom might have to have surgery on her ankle. apparently she tore her achilles tendon and if the doctor thinks its bad enough she is going in for surgery and is out for 6 weeks. :(

softball game today in a couple hours. i just wish it was warmer outside and not cloudy. and that my shoulder didn't hurt from throwing on friday.

alright i need to read and write my paper for tuesday. then start making flashcards for my midterm.

Saturday, March 1, 2008

no limits no lines are drawn the whole world disappears

ever since i talked to lisa and jean about what's coming up for next year and such i have been thinking about it. housing and roommate stuff, jobs, my class schedule, student teaching, and then there is graduation and what comes after that... oh goodness. scares me just to think about it. not sure how to handle all of it. nor do i have the time to deal with it all. meh.

stuck in the library for god knows how long. reading these stupid periodicals for tuesday's class and writing papers on them. oh joy. they are pretty interesting, but really it just feels more like busy work than anything else. and not to mention that one of the periodicals i need the library is all out... grrr.

couldn't sleep last night... which means i was up until almost 5am. woke up around 10ish and then again at 11ish and finally got up. can't sleep at night. i don't know what it is. on top of getting sick for the second night in a row. :[ not sure what it is. maybe an allergy i don't know about. who knows.

saw laura at starbucks last night and we vented to each other about class and such. these next three weeks are going to be soooooo long. if i can get past them, then there is a whole week of spring break to relax. not sure how much relaxing i am going to get, but we will see.

new show addiction. :] the oc. thanks to jillian and courtney. i am half way through season 1 already.

back to periodical hunting and researching and writing. oh joy. :[