every heartache makes you stronger

seriously why must life be so incredibly complicated right now. i was perfectly content with the way things were before. there was no confusion, no complication, no ridiculous. and now everything has gone to shit. no speaking from either end, frustration, and anger. not to mention cheating and lying. big time. i don't like complicated and i don't do complicated.

i found this quote the other day and it seemed to be fitting:

"life is a roller coaster. you can either scream every time you hit a bump or you can throw your hands up in the air and enjoy it."

i would rather not have to deal with any of this. that's what i do. if there is something i'm struggling with it. i just bury it and suppress how i'm feeling. i know that's not good, but then when i do that, i don't have to sort through everything and it just blows over, for the most part.

sometimes i wish there was a time machine to be able to go back and change things. although i think most people think that at some point in their life. a time machine would be perfect right about now. every day is different. some are better than others. some days i don't even think about any of this, and then there are others in which it basically consumes my mind. i need a distraction. a big one.