being up for 24 hours straight for no reason at all gives me plenty of time to think about plenty of different things. this could be seen as a good thing, but not in this case. when i have too much time on my hands, like when i don't sleep, my mind wanders to things i would rather not think about.
being in washington last week for the entire week made me realized i am not happy where i am at. i'm not happy with my living situation for many different reasons. i am not fully happy at my job. don't get me wrong, i love work with my kids and my coteacher is amazing. that is all good and well, but the politics and crap that come with the higher up's is so overwhelming and frustrating it is making me not want to put my full effort into my teaching. which not only affects me personally, but it affects the kids. which is so frustrating. i know i picked the right profession, but i want to be able to enjoy my work and feel like i am making a difference in my kids' lives. where i am at, i don't feel like i am able to fully do that.
i'm not happy in oregon anymore. it's the only place i have ever lived and i need to get out. talk of teaching abroad has begun and i am seriously considering it. i would love to go somewhere else and just experience the culture and be able to teach. :) passport application is in the works as well. finally.
i'm ready for a fresh and big new start. sort of like starting over. i would be okay with that in some ways.
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