with tired eyes, tired minds, tired souls, we sleep

i really should be focusing on all of the work stuff i have to do for tomorrow, but i honestly don't have the energy or motivation to do so. i finished the recipes and i feel like that took all the energy i could muster up to finish, since we have to have them for tomorrow. the lesson plans and DAR's could technically wait since they are for the week after next, but i just want to get them all done already.

i am so happy that it's almost the weekend, though i feel like when the weekend comes i get all out of sorts and start feeling all blah again. sort of how i feel now, only different. though this weekend should be fun. if everything goes according to plan that is.

sleeping has been going a lot better until last night. i couldn't for the life of me fall asleep last night and when i finally did it was already after 1, which was awful because i had to be up at 5:30. meh. maybe that is why i feel so blah and was ready for bed by the time i got home from work. not to mention today was such a stressful day. every child thought it would be okay to argue with everything my coteacher and i said.

along with not sleeping well came nightmares. they are always very similar in the storyline but they change each time just a little. and because they are so similar , they get to be overwhelming and they put me in a terrible mood. they make me over think things and just ruin my mood.

starting about lunch time i was in this blah mood and honestly this blah mood is still here and it's frustrating me. there really isn't anything particular that put me in this mood, but i just am. though because of this said mood i start to feel off. sort of like when you are surrounded by a whole group of people and you feel all alone. i know i am not alone, but there are times when i feel like i am.

i don't want to feel like my life is passing me by. like i am missing out on the more important things or the exciting things that could be. i want to feel like i am making the most of it, like i am living it to the fullest and enjoying what i am doing.

"i'm just gonna grow the hell up and focus on the good things in my life"