"you aren't a terrible teacher. you are doing good things. you are doing the best you can."
i
feel like this saying is on repeat in my head for 40 minutes everything
tuesday and thursday. or at least it should be. someone should record
it so i can listen to it the entire time i am attempting to teach
my 6-7 class. i know i have complained about this class before, but me
venting here for all of you to read is far better than me taking it out
on my kids. trust me... i've come close a few times.
as
of today i have already kicked two kids out of class. we have yet to do
an extra activity (usually a review game at the end of the lesson) that
i have prepared because when we start it, the class becomes complete
and utter chaos to the point that i can't even hear myself think. i
don't know how many times i have to stop in the middle of my lesson to
get them to be quiet; they are constantly talking. or throwing
something. or poking each other. or slapping each other. or trying to
pull each other chairs out from under them. or something else equally
has frustrating. there have been multiple times where my korean
co-teacher has pulled one of them to the back of the room, placed a
blindfold on them and told them to stand there in silence with their
hands up. (punishment in korea is way different than the states. check this out.)
punishment,
of any kind only works for a small amount of time with these kids. on
tuesday of last week, i was fed up with all of the noise, yelling, not
following directions and me attempting to shout over them wasn't
working. i was fed up. so i turned off the game that we did for a whole 4
minutes, told them to get out a piece of paper and a pencil. they were
going to write lines in English. after an outburst of complaining in
korean, whining and angry faces; everyone had a piece of paper. i wrote
the sentence they were going to write on the white board and told them
they had to write it 30 times. they had to number the sentences 1-30 and
it had to be in hand writing i could read, or they were going to start
over. there was about 12 minutes left of class. no one was allowed to
leave until it was turned into me and i approved it. as i was writing the sentence, i heard the word, "fuck" and then a bunch of korean. my co-teacher took over from there. she pinpointed the kid who said it and it was all downhill from there. thus the second student getting kicked out of my class.
last semester was a bit stressful at the end with these students, but i never had to result to making them write lines or sit there with their eyes closed in silence, which is what happened on tuesday of this week. my co-teacher made them close their eyes, put their hands behind their backs and sit there in silence for the last 7 minutes of class. i was told that the 2nd semester was going to be rough, but i wasn't prepared for this.
when i have to result to making them write lines or sit there in complete silence with their eyes closed, i feel like a terrible teacher. i feel like i am just giving up and instantly going towards negative punishment. but i honestly don't know what else to do with these terrible, awful, horrible, no good, very bad students.
i learned today, well not learned, but was reminded that i am not the only teacher that cannot stand this class. last semester i was informed that this class is notorious around the school as THE WORST CLASS EVER! any subject teacher, including me, the PE teacher, and the music teacher to name a few, absolutely hate this class. the entire lunch session today was devoted to all of the teachers complaining about the students. the PE teacher said that the boys weren't listening or lining up, so the girls got to go first, resulting in the boys complaining for the rest of class. another subject teacher said when she asked the students a question, their answer, no matter the question was always, "oma" (which is mom in korean). the entire class period, this is what they did.
i have 13 more weeks of teaching this class until the end of the semester. and i am already completely and utterly fed up with them. my fear: that i am not going to be able to contain my frustration when i teach them and a minor explosion ensues in the middle of class.
"you aren't a terrible teacher. you are doing good things. you are doing the best you can."
(if i just keep telling myself this over and over, everything is going to be okay.)
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