i want to make you feel wanted

i can probably say that i am the worst blogger right now... i guess i blame it on the fact that since i have been in korea for almost 2 years now, everything that i do here has become "my regular" life here that i don't think about sitting down and blogging about what i do with my daily life. while it is my daily life, i still get to do some fun things, i just never seem to have the time to actually get it written out.

now that the retched month of october is finally over, i can breathe a little easier... in theory. the month of october was seriously the longest, most stressful and just overall worst month i have had in years. it was just one thing after another piling up and after a while i just couldn't take it and i just blocked everything out. between working (read as trying not to strangle) my 6th grade co-teacher through her open class, finishing up another graduate class, dealing with the whole "squishy" situation and thinking about my future after my contract is finished in february... i was ready for the month to be over. 

i guess i can't complain too much about the month of october. i did start the month of in JAPAN! which was awesome... (that i promise will be a different blog, probably just pictures). the "squishy" situation wasn't all bad, i got to see a friend from china, and the best thing to come out of the month of october.... I BOUGHT MY BABY SISTER'S TICKET TO COME VISIT ME IN SOUTH KOREA!!! (and hopefully soon she will transfer me the money she owes me *hint hint*)

on the graduate school front, i am currently on a week break, to end tomorrow afternoon. i took a week off to line up my schedule with my winter vacation in january. tomorrow i will be starting my second to last class of my graduate school career and i can't wait! so far... i am continuing strong with my 4.0 GPA and plan to continue that. two more classes.... that's all that is standing in my way to obtain my master's degree! i can't wait to be finished! 

work-wise, things are going well. i still love all my students, especially my kindergarteners. i know i have said this before, but it doesn't matter how bad of a mood i am, whether i am upset about something personal going on, or stressed about my future etc, the moment i walk into their classrooms they make me smile. teaching them reminds me why i went into the teaching profession in the first place. to make a difference. it is widely known that teachers don't make a lot of money, but you don't go into teaching to be rich with money... you go into teaching because you love working with kids and you love seeing them learn. my kindergarteners are the highlight of my entire teaching week. they hardly speak english and my korean is terrible, but we are able to communicate and understand each other perfectly. the rest of my classes are great... with the occasional rough day or class period. but that's normal. 

my personal life... that's a whole other story. you could say that i have been an emotional mess as of late. for various reasons, personal and future related. i have really been all over the map in regards to how i feel about things. there are days when i am happy with where things are at in my life and i am content with the decisions i am making regarding my future and then there are days where all i want to do is hide underneath my blankets and cry myself back to sleep because i am so unsure of what i want to do. i think a reason i am an emotional roller coaster is because i look at others around me and i just feel like they have things together far better than i do. now i know this isn't always the case, but it's just how i feel. i just have to remind myself of what i have done, what i am currently doing and what my future holds for me (no matter how undecided it is). i can't have all the answers right now... 

technology still hates me... my external hard drive stopped working and i lost the hundreds of GB worth of stuff i had on there. i had to start all over... so frustrating. my curling iron my sister bought for my birthday is fried (stupid me didn't check the voltage) and i blew up my personal blow dryer. 

november is a new month... with many things to look forward to. president obama was reelected for another 4 years! it's the holiday season... which means thanksgiving and my favorite holiday (CHRISTMAS!). 55 days till my sister is in korea. and i'm wearing my big girl pants and making decisions about my future.