this feeling keeps getting stronger

let's play the catch up game...

a. i am vacation until the 3rd and it is wonderful. minus the whole not getting paid part. that stinks.

b. my vacation thus far has either been spent in the truck driving to different christmas's with my family or packing up my life to move across the world.

c. packing is a pain. but packing to move while simultaneously packing to move across the world is absolutely ridiculous. i have a giant load to drive down to my parents tonight. i believe it consists of 5 giant plastic tubs full of things, 12 much smaller boxes of things, an small ironing board, a few decorative plaque things, a box fan, among other things.

d. have i mentioned how tired of driving i am. i am close to putting on 1000 miles on the truck in the last week and a half. it's ridiculous. and i still have to go to washington at some point for christmas number 3 with the family.

e. the kids i nanny are absolutely amazing. they are so cute. i am going to miss them

f. i have learned i have way too many things. my goodwill pile is giant, but even so, i still have a lot of stuff. it's sort of ridiculous.

g. i need to sit down this week and look at my korea contract and proceed to sign my name a zillion times. at least once at the bottom of each contract page and i am sure more. oh boy... signing my name.

h. my parents gifts were a success. i managed to make them both cry. my sister's on the other hand... yah i am still waiting for part of it. 10 days after it was mailed. still not here. mark epically failed. as did the post office.

i. i finally talked to my aunt and i will be staying with them until i leave for korea. :) i won't be homeless. yay. always a good thing.

j. one of the lesson's learned over the holiday... this girl still get's car sick. i can't even remember the last time i rode in the backseat of a car, because i know i have a wimpy stomach. well since i rode to my aunt's in salem with my parents, my sister and i sat in the backseat. we made it to albany on I-5, which is like 15 minutes into the hour car ride and i had to roll the window down because i felt awful. i managed to not get sick, but i felt awful for the rest of the evening. my stomach was not happy with me. thankfully my momma is wonderful and i got to ride up front on the way back.

k. joyce is still the devil. this we know will never change. and this year we butted heads because i was done being civil with her. the night ended with her yelling at me over stupid cookies and me basically telling her to shut it and get over it as i walked out the door. my grandpa laughed.

l. so this year along with our money, my grandpa and the devil were going through the attic to clean things out so our gifts were things of my grandma's. which was actually a good idea for once. i am happy to say i have her plush nativity scene that she let me put up every year for christmas when i was little. :)

m. i still hate the rain.

n. did i mention that i have toooooo much stuff? well i do.

o. i got a kindle for christmas. and jillian and her wonderful husband wade are going to download and convert a lot of books for me. which i will get tomorrow. sushi, jillian, christmas presents, and kindle books... sounds like a win to me. :)

p. i need to make another list. which would bring my total to 4 different lists. korea documents list, to do list, a list of different things i need to mail and the newest, a final list for packing for korea

q. i have three total credit cards... one for discover and two store ones for different stores. i have officially paid one store card off as of 5 minutes ago. the second store one will come after payday. and as for the discover card... it will have a HUGE dent put into it after payday as well.

r. i am super exhausted. not enough sleep. go figure.

s. i am not looking forward to going home tonight. that means i get to pack up the truck with all my things. in the pouring down rain. oh goody. did i mention that my tubs are incredibly heavy... well they are.

t. i hate the rain. especially when i have to move in it.

u. as of this morning i ordered the final season of grey's anatomy that i did not have. i am very happy. this reminds me. i need a cd case for my dvd's. add it to the one of many lists i guess.

v. i need to make my resolutions for next year.

w. next year is basically going to be amazing. new home. new job. new country. new basically everything. i can't wait.

x. i think i am going to dye my hair before i leave. i have a feeling it's going to be hard to keep up with my blonde in korea. so i'm thinking it's back to dark i go. hmmm.... ideas?

y. new music makes me happy. especially when it is freeeeee

z. i am a happy happy girl. :)

i hate when i end up being right

dammit. dammit. dammit. i'm kicking myself because i knew i was going to be right. i knew it. i knew it. i knew it. and yet i did it anyways. and now i feel like an idiot.

you are making it really easy to hate you right now. jerk.

life is funny, life's a mess, sometimes a curse, sometimes a blessing

this is my 200th post according to my dashboard. i feel like i should do something profound, but i have neither the patience to think of something or the time to do it. so i will just rattle off what is on my mind like normal.

first off today was a good day. i mean a GOOD day. today was the first day i woke up and i felt pretty okay. considering i have been a stressed out wreck this last week i am happy today was good. it was a nice low day at work, only 5 children and they were all gone before 5, which meant i had an hour to actually get things done in the classroom. granted since i am the closer i have to stay until all the children are gone, especially since my boss left way early today. so i was there until after 6 becuase anamika's mom was late.

i am stillllll waiting for my background check from the FBI for my korea stuff. it has now been two months since i have sent things in. it is extremely frustrating and i am getting super impatient. i need it now. then it's off to salem to apostille it and my degree. then i send that to scott. then the E2 visa process starts. which will require a trip to seattle, which i am perfectly okay with. :)

speaking of korea... this has been a process. a very very very stressful process. once we finally turned our things in for EPIK we get an email saying we sent our things in too late, so we had the option of waiting till next term, going through private schools or going with GEPIK, which is basically the same thing as EPIK, only in a different part of korea. GEPIK applications were turned in on sunday and as of this morning i have been requested for an interview at some point this week. omg i can't believe this is actually happening... i am going to be in freak out mode for a good while.

dani and i have been doing research on korea so we can get a little bit more prepared for what to expect. well last night i had my first overwhelming freak out. i had to shut my computer off and walk away to calm down. so many things to do and figure out even before we get there. and then once we get there it is going to be a totally different story. oh i can't even think about it anymore...

i am extremely happy for the holidays though. :) this means i get to get creative and make most of my christmas presents. my mom's is done almost. finishing touches will go on tonight. i still need to go through and find pictures for most of my gifts. my sister's is the most entertaining. she is the only one that i am completely done with... except i don't actually have any of her gifts here. each one of her gifts is coming from a different state, with a total of 9 i believe. and considering i have her birthday which is thursday, a whole 9 days before christmas i had to do some extra work figuring out to get her.

red wine, christmas music, presents. :)

i'm gettin a little bit stronger, just a little big stronger

"even on my weakest days, i get a little bit stronger"

it has been a whole two weeks to the day since saying goodbye and honestly i am doing better than i thought i would be. yes there are still times when something will spark a memory or i see a picture or a random thought will pop into my head and i get a little sad. but overall i am doing okay. honestly i know there is more missing from this end, but i knew that was how it was going to be and i am starting to be okay with it. part of me wishes i didn't miss you as much as i do, like i would be better off if i didn't. i'm at the point that if i don't think about it, i'm completely fine, but if that something catches me and i think about it too much, i'm a complete mess.

i miss you. that's all there is to it.

new music makes me happy. must share. :) laura izibor... she's amazing.



i love her voice... it's amazing. :)