for as long as i can remember, i have also had a plan when it came to my life and my future. and while that said plan has been modified, changed, or completely been scrapped and re-written, a plan has also been in place. so what happens when you come to a point in your life where you have a big decision to make and no plan set in place with NO CLUE where to go next...
growing up, everyone has the expectation of what they think their life is going to be like. and while society tells you that you should graduate from high school, go to college and get a degree, find a job, settle down and get married and have children (in that order of course), i have always dreamed bigger. don't get me wrong, there is nothing wrong with that and i want all of those things, but i also want more than just a cookie cutter life just because society tells me that's what i am supposed to do. i want to be able to look back on my life and be proud of what i did and not regret a single decision i've made.
should i stay or should i go? (i'm fairly certain this is a song title) but this is literally my current dilemma. you might look at that question and say to yourself, that isn't a hard question... it's one or the other, just pick one. but in all reality, it's a much harder decision than you think.
for the past almost 21 months i have had the wonderful opportunity to live and work in my career field in south korea. these past 21 months have been more than i could have imagined. i have had the opportunity to work with some amazing teachers and students (and of course some not so amazing ones), i have met plenty of awesome (and not so awesome) people along the way, many of which i can say are among my closest life-long friends, i have been given the opportunity to further my career in an exciting and not so conventional way and i have been able to travel and see parts of the world i wouldn't necessarily been able to do otherwise. and while my last 21 months haven't been all rainbows and happiness, i have loved every minute of it and wouldn't change it for anything. but it's getting to be that time of the year again where school contracts are ending and the english teachers around the country and to make the decision, "should i stay or should i go?"
for some of us it's an easy decision, stay. why would you leave the simple life that is korea? you have a good job that pays really well, excellent health insurance, a payed for apartment, little work and relatively good working hours, the chance to travel and all the other aspects of ease living in korea. why would you want to go back to a country where the job market isn't the brightest, things are expensive and there is so much uncertainty and stress... there comes a point in time that people continue to stay because it's comfortable and easy. while that isn't a bad thing, it isn't for everyone.
and then there are the others, myself included, who are torn between the two. while i have all the great benefits of living and working here in korea, i can safely say this isn't where i want to spend the rest of my life. i don't want to become one of those people we call "lifers" that stay because it's easy and they are comfortable here. i want to do bigger things with my life... call me crazy or just a dreamer, but i want to say that i made a difference in someone's life. but sitting down and looking at things, while the easy decision for me would be to choose to go home and start the next chapter of my life i pause and wonder if that's what i should really do.
i sit and think and second guess everything i think regarding this decision. do i really want to go back to america? where the job market isn't much better than when i left almost two years ago? where i have no place to call my own? or a car? or a solid source of income? i would be moving back to america without a solid plan set in place. and when i think about that, it scares me. a lot. i don't want to go back home and be forced to find a job because i have to pay my bills. i don't want to be the 26 year old who has to live with her parents because she has to. on the other hand though, i don't want to decide to stay where i am currently at and later on down the road regret and resent myself for my decisions. i've had a friend tell me personally that it's the worst feeling in the world.
i've talked to plenty of people; my parents, my sister, my aunt, my close friends, other friends, and others in the same boat i am and everyone says something different. stay, go somewhere else, make a pro/con list, weigh your options, go home, run away as fast as you can, listen to your gut, do what makes you happy etc. of course people are going to have biased opinions on what i should do, and in the end i know that it's my decision to make, no one else.
there are days where i find myself knowing exactly what i want. i am going to go home and figure it out from there.... i'm done with korea. but then there are days where i have an excellent day with my students or i get bombarded by my kindergarteners with hugs and i think to myself, "how could i leave a job that i love for uncertainty" it's like i am being torn in a million different directions... i'm happy here. but i don't want to get too comfortable. i want something more for myself. i want to start a new chapter. but i don't want to fail.
the more i toss and turn at night thinking about my decision, the more i am slowly coming to terms with the fact that sometimes in life you don't always have a plan and that is okay. people say that everything works out the way it's supposed to in the end... that doesn't make the journey along the way any less stressful.
so for now, i will finish my cup of tea, turn out the lights and pray for a uninterrupted night of sleep...
http://www.nomadicmatt.com/travel-blogs/everyone-say-im-running-away/
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Wednesday, November 7, 2012
i want to make you feel wanted
i can probably say that i am the worst blogger right now... i guess i blame it on the fact that since i have been in korea for almost 2 years now, everything that i do here has become "my regular" life here that i don't think about sitting down and blogging about what i do with my daily life. while it is my daily life, i still get to do some fun things, i just never seem to have the time to actually get it written out.
now that the retched month of october is finally over, i can breathe a little easier... in theory. the month of october was seriously the longest, most stressful and just overall worst month i have had in years. it was just one thing after another piling up and after a while i just couldn't take it and i just blocked everything out. between working (read as trying not to strangle) my 6th grade co-teacher through her open class, finishing up another graduate class, dealing with the whole "squishy" situation and thinking about my future after my contract is finished in february... i was ready for the month to be over.
i guess i can't complain too much about the month of october. i did start the month of in JAPAN! which was awesome... (that i promise will be a different blog, probably just pictures). the "squishy" situation wasn't all bad, i got to see a friend from china, and the best thing to come out of the month of october.... I BOUGHT MY BABY SISTER'S TICKET TO COME VISIT ME IN SOUTH KOREA!!! (and hopefully soon she will transfer me the money she owes me *hint hint*)
on the graduate school front, i am currently on a week break, to end tomorrow afternoon. i took a week off to line up my schedule with my winter vacation in january. tomorrow i will be starting my second to last class of my graduate school career and i can't wait! so far... i am continuing strong with my 4.0 GPA and plan to continue that. two more classes.... that's all that is standing in my way to obtain my master's degree! i can't wait to be finished!
work-wise, things are going well. i still love all my students, especially my kindergarteners. i know i have said this before, but it doesn't matter how bad of a mood i am, whether i am upset about something personal going on, or stressed about my future etc, the moment i walk into their classrooms they make me smile. teaching them reminds me why i went into the teaching profession in the first place. to make a difference. it is widely known that teachers don't make a lot of money, but you don't go into teaching to be rich with money... you go into teaching because you love working with kids and you love seeing them learn. my kindergarteners are the highlight of my entire teaching week. they hardly speak english and my korean is terrible, but we are able to communicate and understand each other perfectly. the rest of my classes are great... with the occasional rough day or class period. but that's normal.
my personal life... that's a whole other story. you could say that i have been an emotional mess as of late. for various reasons, personal and future related. i have really been all over the map in regards to how i feel about things. there are days when i am happy with where things are at in my life and i am content with the decisions i am making regarding my future and then there are days where all i want to do is hide underneath my blankets and cry myself back to sleep because i am so unsure of what i want to do. i think a reason i am an emotional roller coaster is because i look at others around me and i just feel like they have things together far better than i do. now i know this isn't always the case, but it's just how i feel. i just have to remind myself of what i have done, what i am currently doing and what my future holds for me (no matter how undecided it is). i can't have all the answers right now...
technology still hates me... my external hard drive stopped working and i lost the hundreds of GB worth of stuff i had on there. i had to start all over... so frustrating. my curling iron my sister bought for my birthday is fried (stupid me didn't check the voltage) and i blew up my personal blow dryer.
november is a new month... with many things to look forward to. president obama was reelected for another 4 years! it's the holiday season... which means thanksgiving and my favorite holiday (CHRISTMAS!). 55 days till my sister is in korea. and i'm wearing my big girl pants and making decisions about my future.
now that the retched month of october is finally over, i can breathe a little easier... in theory. the month of october was seriously the longest, most stressful and just overall worst month i have had in years. it was just one thing after another piling up and after a while i just couldn't take it and i just blocked everything out. between working (read as trying not to strangle) my 6th grade co-teacher through her open class, finishing up another graduate class, dealing with the whole "squishy" situation and thinking about my future after my contract is finished in february... i was ready for the month to be over.
i guess i can't complain too much about the month of october. i did start the month of in JAPAN! which was awesome... (that i promise will be a different blog, probably just pictures). the "squishy" situation wasn't all bad, i got to see a friend from china, and the best thing to come out of the month of october.... I BOUGHT MY BABY SISTER'S TICKET TO COME VISIT ME IN SOUTH KOREA!!! (and hopefully soon she will transfer me the money she owes me *hint hint*)
on the graduate school front, i am currently on a week break, to end tomorrow afternoon. i took a week off to line up my schedule with my winter vacation in january. tomorrow i will be starting my second to last class of my graduate school career and i can't wait! so far... i am continuing strong with my 4.0 GPA and plan to continue that. two more classes.... that's all that is standing in my way to obtain my master's degree! i can't wait to be finished!
work-wise, things are going well. i still love all my students, especially my kindergarteners. i know i have said this before, but it doesn't matter how bad of a mood i am, whether i am upset about something personal going on, or stressed about my future etc, the moment i walk into their classrooms they make me smile. teaching them reminds me why i went into the teaching profession in the first place. to make a difference. it is widely known that teachers don't make a lot of money, but you don't go into teaching to be rich with money... you go into teaching because you love working with kids and you love seeing them learn. my kindergarteners are the highlight of my entire teaching week. they hardly speak english and my korean is terrible, but we are able to communicate and understand each other perfectly. the rest of my classes are great... with the occasional rough day or class period. but that's normal.
my personal life... that's a whole other story. you could say that i have been an emotional mess as of late. for various reasons, personal and future related. i have really been all over the map in regards to how i feel about things. there are days when i am happy with where things are at in my life and i am content with the decisions i am making regarding my future and then there are days where all i want to do is hide underneath my blankets and cry myself back to sleep because i am so unsure of what i want to do. i think a reason i am an emotional roller coaster is because i look at others around me and i just feel like they have things together far better than i do. now i know this isn't always the case, but it's just how i feel. i just have to remind myself of what i have done, what i am currently doing and what my future holds for me (no matter how undecided it is). i can't have all the answers right now...
technology still hates me... my external hard drive stopped working and i lost the hundreds of GB worth of stuff i had on there. i had to start all over... so frustrating. my curling iron my sister bought for my birthday is fried (stupid me didn't check the voltage) and i blew up my personal blow dryer.
november is a new month... with many things to look forward to. president obama was reelected for another 4 years! it's the holiday season... which means thanksgiving and my favorite holiday (CHRISTMAS!). 55 days till my sister is in korea. and i'm wearing my big girl pants and making decisions about my future.
Thursday, August 30, 2012
no i don't want say goodnight, i know it's time to leave but you'll be in my dreams
so since it has been may since i have updated this, i figured it was probably about time for an update of some kinds. since it's the very last day of august and all. summer was crazy super busy between work, grad classes, weekend trips, summer camp and then my vacation to america, i really had no free time to just sit down and write out what had been going on. now that i am back in korea (and desk-warming already), i figured now was as good a time as any to update this.
so here is a run down of things that happened over the summer... in list form of course (because that is the only way i am going to remember what happened over the last 3.5 months)
may:
- cinco de mayo weekend trip to cheongpeyong lake. this included my 3rd bungee jump!
- saw stephanie perform in "our country's good"
- namhae weekend trip. with some kayaking and plenty of drinks. and of course taking care of jungsop after he insisted on trying every kind of alcohol we had at the bar.
june:
- me paying off my first student loan!
- my school's english play/speech competition (which was a korean mom overloaded nightmare!)
- USO DMZ tour with stephanie. us getting to step foot on the north korean side.
- a "lovely" 3 day orientation for GEPIK returning teachers
july:
- rafting/ziplining/river trekking trip. which ended with this girl getting a lot of bumps and bruises, which really shouldn't be anything new to anyone.
- MUDFEST 2012. which was awesome on so many levels. :)
- paying off student loan number 2!
- summer camp prep and trying to save money for my vacation to america!
- start of 1st summer camp
august:
- finishing up 1st and 2nd summer camp
- and finally AMERICA!
so usually i would have pictures for all of this... but since it's basically 3.5 months worth of stuff you guys are just gonna have to leave it to your imagination. or go on my facebook since all my pictures are there.
my vacation home was absolutely amazing! there are really no words to describe how nice it was to visit. i was greeted at the airport by my mom, baby sister, aunt and two adorable little cousins. they even made me welcome home signs and everything. after being on a plane for 12+ hours, dealing with the idiot workers at LAX after they sent me to the wrong terminal and insisted that i was too late to check in for my connecting flight, and then another 2 hour flight, it was nice to see some familiar faces and get some hugs.
the next two weeks went by way to fast and included so many different things. the beach with my mom and sister, shooting with my dad, eye appts, getting to finally meet both cooper and mckenzie, seeing friends i haven't seen since i left or even way before that, tons and tons and tons of shopping, portland saturday market, a birthday/welcome home party my aunt and mom threw for me, a lot of driving, DELICIOUS BEER AND WINE!!, and so many more awesome things, places and people.
it was wonderful to be home, but it's also good to be back in korea and in a routine of some sorts (my jet lag is kicking my butt). while on vacation i got the question over and over again about what i was going to do come the end of my contract. my answer was always the same, "i'm on vacation and i'm not thinking about it." i was under strict orders from ariel, laura and a few others to not stress about it and to actually enjoy my vacation. so that's what i did, for the most part. there were the few people that would seriously not drop the topic and actually pushed me to tears about it at one point. now that i am back though, i have to buckle down and really start to think about what i am going to do come february. and literally just thinking about it now makes me tense and stresses me out, and it's still only august.
sadly when i was home i was in the middle of a grad school class, so i didn't really get a break from that. thankfully the first week, i was able to pre-write my discussion questions and get those out of the way before my 12 hour flight home. and naturally i procrastinated and wrote my paper in 3 hours the morning it was due (and got a 100%). the next week was a group project. there were three of us total, me being on vacation in america with limited time i was willing to spend online, valerie was starting teaching again and tammy was dealing with family stuff. with all of us being busy we were able to slowly get everything put together for our paper. and of course i was the last one to submit my portion (wrote it in 26 mins and was praised for how well written it was) and thankfully we pulled on a 100%. i am currently starting my last week of this class i couldn't be more happier. this professor is TERRIBLE! and it's not because she is the first one to give me a "B" on an assignment either. she is just all around awful and i can't wait to be done with her. this will also mean that i have 3 graduate classes left until i have earned my master's degree! this girl couldn't be more excited either! all this hard work and the student loans i am taking out are going to pay off finally.
now that i am back in korea, i have been desk-warming all week because the construction on the bathrooms at my school are not finished. so there was only one floor of bathrooms for the entire school. though since i have been here all week, i am not seeing much progress on what they have done. i mean don't get me wrong, they finally look like bathrooms, but are missing key components, like STALLS and you know... TOILETS! but thankfully this is the last day of desk-warming, because i am starting to go stir-crazy being at the school all by myself. (yep that's right, the NET has to be here while all the other teachers got to stay home... complete B.S. if you ask me!)
so as of now, i am getting back in the groove of things and prepping for a very busy month of september... which include finishing my current grad class, korea burn/iain visiting from china next weekend, taking ariel to eat properly cooked crab at boiling crab, and of course JAPAN for chuseok vacation with stephanie and laura!! that is going to be AMAZING!!!! and i can't wait. 5 full days in japan!
now i must go pay my bills before i get a ''late fee'' and order my sleeping bag for korea burn. then it's home to unpack some more (yes i am STILL not unpacked fully from my trip) and drinks with the girls.
so here is a run down of things that happened over the summer... in list form of course (because that is the only way i am going to remember what happened over the last 3.5 months)
may:
- cinco de mayo weekend trip to cheongpeyong lake. this included my 3rd bungee jump!
- saw stephanie perform in "our country's good"
- namhae weekend trip. with some kayaking and plenty of drinks. and of course taking care of jungsop after he insisted on trying every kind of alcohol we had at the bar.
june:
- me paying off my first student loan!
- my school's english play/speech competition (which was a korean mom overloaded nightmare!)
- USO DMZ tour with stephanie. us getting to step foot on the north korean side.
- a "lovely" 3 day orientation for GEPIK returning teachers
july:
- rafting/ziplining/river trekking trip. which ended with this girl getting a lot of bumps and bruises, which really shouldn't be anything new to anyone.
- MUDFEST 2012. which was awesome on so many levels. :)
- paying off student loan number 2!
- summer camp prep and trying to save money for my vacation to america!
- start of 1st summer camp
august:
- finishing up 1st and 2nd summer camp
- and finally AMERICA!
so usually i would have pictures for all of this... but since it's basically 3.5 months worth of stuff you guys are just gonna have to leave it to your imagination. or go on my facebook since all my pictures are there.
my vacation home was absolutely amazing! there are really no words to describe how nice it was to visit. i was greeted at the airport by my mom, baby sister, aunt and two adorable little cousins. they even made me welcome home signs and everything. after being on a plane for 12+ hours, dealing with the idiot workers at LAX after they sent me to the wrong terminal and insisted that i was too late to check in for my connecting flight, and then another 2 hour flight, it was nice to see some familiar faces and get some hugs.
the next two weeks went by way to fast and included so many different things. the beach with my mom and sister, shooting with my dad, eye appts, getting to finally meet both cooper and mckenzie, seeing friends i haven't seen since i left or even way before that, tons and tons and tons of shopping, portland saturday market, a birthday/welcome home party my aunt and mom threw for me, a lot of driving, DELICIOUS BEER AND WINE!!, and so many more awesome things, places and people.
it was wonderful to be home, but it's also good to be back in korea and in a routine of some sorts (my jet lag is kicking my butt). while on vacation i got the question over and over again about what i was going to do come the end of my contract. my answer was always the same, "i'm on vacation and i'm not thinking about it." i was under strict orders from ariel, laura and a few others to not stress about it and to actually enjoy my vacation. so that's what i did, for the most part. there were the few people that would seriously not drop the topic and actually pushed me to tears about it at one point. now that i am back though, i have to buckle down and really start to think about what i am going to do come february. and literally just thinking about it now makes me tense and stresses me out, and it's still only august.
sadly when i was home i was in the middle of a grad school class, so i didn't really get a break from that. thankfully the first week, i was able to pre-write my discussion questions and get those out of the way before my 12 hour flight home. and naturally i procrastinated and wrote my paper in 3 hours the morning it was due (and got a 100%). the next week was a group project. there were three of us total, me being on vacation in america with limited time i was willing to spend online, valerie was starting teaching again and tammy was dealing with family stuff. with all of us being busy we were able to slowly get everything put together for our paper. and of course i was the last one to submit my portion (wrote it in 26 mins and was praised for how well written it was) and thankfully we pulled on a 100%. i am currently starting my last week of this class i couldn't be more happier. this professor is TERRIBLE! and it's not because she is the first one to give me a "B" on an assignment either. she is just all around awful and i can't wait to be done with her. this will also mean that i have 3 graduate classes left until i have earned my master's degree! this girl couldn't be more excited either! all this hard work and the student loans i am taking out are going to pay off finally.
now that i am back in korea, i have been desk-warming all week because the construction on the bathrooms at my school are not finished. so there was only one floor of bathrooms for the entire school. though since i have been here all week, i am not seeing much progress on what they have done. i mean don't get me wrong, they finally look like bathrooms, but are missing key components, like STALLS and you know... TOILETS! but thankfully this is the last day of desk-warming, because i am starting to go stir-crazy being at the school all by myself. (yep that's right, the NET has to be here while all the other teachers got to stay home... complete B.S. if you ask me!)
so as of now, i am getting back in the groove of things and prepping for a very busy month of september... which include finishing my current grad class, korea burn/iain visiting from china next weekend, taking ariel to eat properly cooked crab at boiling crab, and of course JAPAN for chuseok vacation with stephanie and laura!! that is going to be AMAZING!!!! and i can't wait. 5 full days in japan!
now i must go pay my bills before i get a ''late fee'' and order my sleeping bag for korea burn. then it's home to unpack some more (yes i am STILL not unpacked fully from my trip) and drinks with the girls.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
It was the perfect day what I'd give if I could find a way to stay
a couple of weekends ago a group of friends and i headed out of town to muuido island off the coast of incheon... and let's just say this was one of the best weekends i have had in an extremely long time. from the beginning i knew it was going to be a good weekend, i just wasn't sure how good!
so laura, kate, janice, tom and i caught the bus from the goyang area and headed out to the airport. let me just say, being at the airport and not actually leaving the country was really hard. since being abroad, i have been craving traveling every opportunity i can get. i thailand last august, indonesia in january, possibly some place before i go to the states in august and then of course somewhere for winter break. anyways... we met everyone at the airport and headed to the ferry terminal to get our tickets to muuido.
i would like to mention that when we woke up saturday morning it was POURING!! korea rain sort of reminds me of rain at home... not necessarily a ton, but it's constant and doesn't ever seem to stop. i had to bust out my rain boots and umbrella...
once we go to the ferry terminal is when things started to get crazy. i ran directly off the bus to the bathroom and by the time i was finished and made my way into the terminal, a few of the people in our group were arguing with an older korean man. all i saw was a small broken window and the korean man was very angry and insisting that it was us that broke it. it's widely known that elders are respected in korea, more so than they are in the states most of the time. this means that whatever they say pretty much goes and there is no arguing with them. so after a solid 15 minutes of half our group arguing through a nice man who so kindly translated for us, it was established that we "may" have broken the window. After the man said he was going to call the police, which apparently he had, we apologized for "possibly" breaking his window and then all was right again. He shook our hands and let us leave the building to board the ferry.
once to the island we decided to stay in pensions instead of the beach huts because of the lovely weather korea gave to us that weekend. after getting our rooms we unpacked the massive amounts of food and drinks and hunkered down in the warmth and dryness of the pension room.
what's a pension you ask? it's basically a large open one-room room with a bathroom attached. so it serves as a sitting/living room area and then after putting blankets and such down on the floor, it serves as a sleeping area for multiple people as well.
i mentioned there were massive amounts of food and i am serious... we had burgers, brats, the fixings for those, cheese and crackers, banana chips, all the stuff for breakfast burritos the next morning, chips, homemade salsa and guacamole (which i naturally avoided as to not die). there was also a very large supply of alcohol on hand. between the excessive amount of beer, wine, homemade kahlua, soju and spiced rum we were set for the weekend. let the excessive amount of eating and drinking begin...
which is exactly what happened. we ate and ate and ate... or better yet we all ate and matthew ate and ate and ate. seriously he was like a human vacuum that was never ending. once the last of our group arrived from incheon we were all settled in for a night of crazyness. and since there was drinking, this of course led to absolute crazyness. this included a game of "I Never" and another drinking game. we also bought roman candles and had a roman candle fight out on the beach in the sprinkles. basically lighting and pointing fireworks at each other... awesome! afterwards some of us walked out (because the tide was low) and saw some of the bio-luminescent plankton that was in the water. after the last drinking game we called it a night around 3am or so.
we had two pension rooms and 11 people to fit between the two. we crammed 6 in one and 5 in the other. basically we all had to snuggle nice and close to fit in the room of 6. after getting situated and such and attempting to drown out the excessive snoring coming from john and laura, i was able to get to sleep. only to be rudely awaken after was felt like only an hour by a phone alarm. for a second i thought it was mine, but then i remembered my phone had died that night. which meant it was laura's. after everyone started getting pissed, i was able to turn it off.
later that morning when people started getting up we made breakfast burritos, thanks to dani. they were delicious. while we were cooking, the koreans that had been staying next door to us were trying to get their van out of the sand where they had parked it the night before. well that turned into a very entertaining thing to watch. every time they revved the engine and spun the tires, they sunk lower and lower into the sand. they finally asked some of the guys from our group to come and help them. if my phone wasn't dead, i would have taken pictures. the boys were out in the sprinkles, pushing and digging out the sand. after the driver of the van was making it worse, one of the boys got in and drove it out of the sand.
breakfast burritos were awesome. then it was time to head back to the ferry back to the mainland. overall it was an awesome weekend.
so laura, kate, janice, tom and i caught the bus from the goyang area and headed out to the airport. let me just say, being at the airport and not actually leaving the country was really hard. since being abroad, i have been craving traveling every opportunity i can get. i thailand last august, indonesia in january, possibly some place before i go to the states in august and then of course somewhere for winter break. anyways... we met everyone at the airport and headed to the ferry terminal to get our tickets to muuido.
i would like to mention that when we woke up saturday morning it was POURING!! korea rain sort of reminds me of rain at home... not necessarily a ton, but it's constant and doesn't ever seem to stop. i had to bust out my rain boots and umbrella...
once we go to the ferry terminal is when things started to get crazy. i ran directly off the bus to the bathroom and by the time i was finished and made my way into the terminal, a few of the people in our group were arguing with an older korean man. all i saw was a small broken window and the korean man was very angry and insisting that it was us that broke it. it's widely known that elders are respected in korea, more so than they are in the states most of the time. this means that whatever they say pretty much goes and there is no arguing with them. so after a solid 15 minutes of half our group arguing through a nice man who so kindly translated for us, it was established that we "may" have broken the window. After the man said he was going to call the police, which apparently he had, we apologized for "possibly" breaking his window and then all was right again. He shook our hands and let us leave the building to board the ferry.
once to the island we decided to stay in pensions instead of the beach huts because of the lovely weather korea gave to us that weekend. after getting our rooms we unpacked the massive amounts of food and drinks and hunkered down in the warmth and dryness of the pension room.
what's a pension you ask? it's basically a large open one-room room with a bathroom attached. so it serves as a sitting/living room area and then after putting blankets and such down on the floor, it serves as a sleeping area for multiple people as well.
i mentioned there were massive amounts of food and i am serious... we had burgers, brats, the fixings for those, cheese and crackers, banana chips, all the stuff for breakfast burritos the next morning, chips, homemade salsa and guacamole (which i naturally avoided as to not die). there was also a very large supply of alcohol on hand. between the excessive amount of beer, wine, homemade kahlua, soju and spiced rum we were set for the weekend. let the excessive amount of eating and drinking begin...
which is exactly what happened. we ate and ate and ate... or better yet we all ate and matthew ate and ate and ate. seriously he was like a human vacuum that was never ending. once the last of our group arrived from incheon we were all settled in for a night of crazyness. and since there was drinking, this of course led to absolute crazyness. this included a game of "I Never" and another drinking game. we also bought roman candles and had a roman candle fight out on the beach in the sprinkles. basically lighting and pointing fireworks at each other... awesome! afterwards some of us walked out (because the tide was low) and saw some of the bio-luminescent plankton that was in the water. after the last drinking game we called it a night around 3am or so.
we had two pension rooms and 11 people to fit between the two. we crammed 6 in one and 5 in the other. basically we all had to snuggle nice and close to fit in the room of 6. after getting situated and such and attempting to drown out the excessive snoring coming from john and laura, i was able to get to sleep. only to be rudely awaken after was felt like only an hour by a phone alarm. for a second i thought it was mine, but then i remembered my phone had died that night. which meant it was laura's. after everyone started getting pissed, i was able to turn it off.
later that morning when people started getting up we made breakfast burritos, thanks to dani. they were delicious. while we were cooking, the koreans that had been staying next door to us were trying to get their van out of the sand where they had parked it the night before. well that turned into a very entertaining thing to watch. every time they revved the engine and spun the tires, they sunk lower and lower into the sand. they finally asked some of the guys from our group to come and help them. if my phone wasn't dead, i would have taken pictures. the boys were out in the sprinkles, pushing and digging out the sand. after the driver of the van was making it worse, one of the boys got in and drove it out of the sand.
breakfast burritos were awesome. then it was time to head back to the ferry back to the mainland. overall it was an awesome weekend.
Thursday, April 19, 2012
you are a satellite, you're shooting through the sky, you leave the world behind
i'm really not good at this whole "keeping things up to date" on here... guess i should probably work on that. though i'm not making any promises cause i seem to get distracted pretty easily.
since today is midterms day, this means i am not teaching today. which equates to desk-warming. ah... a term i, along with any other public school foreign teacher, am very familiar with. this is actually my first time desk-warming since starting at my new school. wait... i lied, i desk-warmed the first couple days cause students were getting settled into a routine before they started english class. it's weird to not be teaching and while it is nice to get somewhat of a break from teaching 4-6 different classes a day, i happen to really enjoy teaching my students this year and miss it when i don't. though since it is friday, it's nice not to have a break!
this month marks my 13th and the beginning of my 14th month in korea... it's crazy to think that i have been living abroad for more than a year. and without seeing america either... which is something that is going to change come august... yep you read that right,
I WILL BE STATESIDE ON AUGUST 10th UNTIL THE 25th!!!
if you couldn't tell i'm a bit excited about this! by this time i won't have been home for 18 months, which is the longest i have ever been away from home. considering i hadn't lived anywhere outside of oregon (unless you count me living at my aunt's in vancouver, washington for 2 months before moving to korea) living outside of the states is a big deal for me. so i'm rather excited to be heading back in august for a nice little vacation away from my life in korea. i only have 14 solid days in america, so if any of you reading this want to see me, shoot me a message somehow and we can make it happen. those 14 days are going to be filled with little sleep and jamming everything and everyone i can into it! not going to lie... i have already started making a list of the things i want to do, places i want to go, and foods i want to eat! i guess i should start saving my money now....
since i haven't been home in almost 14 months now i knew starting my second year was also going to bring a second wave of homesickness and it kicked in few weeks ago. i woke up one saturday morning and felt like i had been kicked in the chest. i didn't want to be here, hated that i decided to stay, just wanted to be home with my family and friends, and really wanted nothing to do with anyone here or with korea in general. i spent a good portion of the day upset inside my apartment. which i know isn't good, but sometimes you just have to embrace the homesickness, deal with it and get it over with. which is what i have slowly been doing. it also didn't help that i wasn't on speaking terms with a "friend" for a solid month. which took a toll on me as well.
speaking of the silent treatment... which is now over. sort of. i have now heard from this friend after an entire month of nothing but silence. and while we are back on speaking terms, i never did get the answers i was looking for, which just makes me feel unresolved about the whole situation. i am left feeling hurt, sort of betrayed, and still questioning things. i'm just not entirely sure how i can trust them again. and after a specific comment was said, i just feel weird and uncomfortable even messaging them. so for now, we are on speaking terms, but not really speaking. and for now this is the way things have to be, and potentially how they will stay. because i just can't do it anymore.
on a brighter note... i am almost two months into my new job and i still love it. and my co-workers and my kids. while my after school kids stress me out sometimes because they can be crazy monsters, all my kids are great. my 5th graders, who i see the most (3 times a week) are great. even my "trouble makers" are good kids. my 6th and 3rd graders who i only see one a week are great as well. my 3rd graders, who barely speak english are just cute. and my 6th graders, while they talk a lot are overall good kids. plus i get to play the good fun teacher since they only see me once. and then there are my kindergartners... who are seriously the cutest thing ever. it doesn't matter the mood i am in... they always make it better. a perfect example would be yesterday when jungwha and i were walking down to lunch and we ran into some of my kindergartners coming out of the bathroom and they literally freaked out when they saw me. ran up to me hugging me, giggling and just overall being adorable. i was talking to a friend last night at dinner and we both said that even though we are both way busier this year with teaching and such, we are way less stressed than we were last year. and i really think a lot of that has to do with the kids and the environment i am in. i just feel better about things and my situation.
grad school is still going well... even though i still continually procrastinate on all my homework. it's a trait about myself that i've embraced. it doesn't matter the assignment, i am going to wait till the last minute to do it. it will get done eventually. i am officially half way through my current class. which has been going pretty well. i've enjoyed it so far. i have 2 individual assigments left, a group project and my final project and then i will be done with this class. as of now i have 5 classes after this one till i am done with my program. if i stay on the schedule i am on now, i should be done by the beginning of april. though i have a feeling i will be taking another two week break come january for my winter vacation like i did this last winter.
speaking of winter vacation... yes i have already started thinking about it. steph and i had dinner last night and started talking about what we wanted to do... we are thinking of going to visit clara in australia with maybe a stop over somewhere else beforehand. that means two countries during vacation... i could be perfectly okay with that! we will see.
so a few weeks ago i wrote a blogpost for my alma mater's alumni blog about my time abroad. i posted the link to facebook, but if you haven't checked it out, you should:
http://pacificalumni.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-perspective-on-education.html
spring is finally here in korea... which also means my allergies are in full swing. this week they hit not only me but a lot of my friends as well. i wake up completely congested, have a continuous running nose, and sneeze constantly. i guess this is all worth it though because it is no longer freezing cold! and speaking of the doctors... i went back in to get my blood drawn to check on my anemia on wednesday... here's hoping i get good results next week. that means i won't have to deal with anymore needles or nurses who can't draw blood without bruising me.
i guess this is a long enough update on my current life situation, plus i should probably get to lesson planning for next week. and my homework. and my to-do list.
since today is midterms day, this means i am not teaching today. which equates to desk-warming. ah... a term i, along with any other public school foreign teacher, am very familiar with. this is actually my first time desk-warming since starting at my new school. wait... i lied, i desk-warmed the first couple days cause students were getting settled into a routine before they started english class. it's weird to not be teaching and while it is nice to get somewhat of a break from teaching 4-6 different classes a day, i happen to really enjoy teaching my students this year and miss it when i don't. though since it is friday, it's nice not to have a break!
this month marks my 13th and the beginning of my 14th month in korea... it's crazy to think that i have been living abroad for more than a year. and without seeing america either... which is something that is going to change come august... yep you read that right,
I WILL BE STATESIDE ON AUGUST 10th UNTIL THE 25th!!!
if you couldn't tell i'm a bit excited about this! by this time i won't have been home for 18 months, which is the longest i have ever been away from home. considering i hadn't lived anywhere outside of oregon (unless you count me living at my aunt's in vancouver, washington for 2 months before moving to korea) living outside of the states is a big deal for me. so i'm rather excited to be heading back in august for a nice little vacation away from my life in korea. i only have 14 solid days in america, so if any of you reading this want to see me, shoot me a message somehow and we can make it happen. those 14 days are going to be filled with little sleep and jamming everything and everyone i can into it! not going to lie... i have already started making a list of the things i want to do, places i want to go, and foods i want to eat! i guess i should start saving my money now....
since i haven't been home in almost 14 months now i knew starting my second year was also going to bring a second wave of homesickness and it kicked in few weeks ago. i woke up one saturday morning and felt like i had been kicked in the chest. i didn't want to be here, hated that i decided to stay, just wanted to be home with my family and friends, and really wanted nothing to do with anyone here or with korea in general. i spent a good portion of the day upset inside my apartment. which i know isn't good, but sometimes you just have to embrace the homesickness, deal with it and get it over with. which is what i have slowly been doing. it also didn't help that i wasn't on speaking terms with a "friend" for a solid month. which took a toll on me as well.
speaking of the silent treatment... which is now over. sort of. i have now heard from this friend after an entire month of nothing but silence. and while we are back on speaking terms, i never did get the answers i was looking for, which just makes me feel unresolved about the whole situation. i am left feeling hurt, sort of betrayed, and still questioning things. i'm just not entirely sure how i can trust them again. and after a specific comment was said, i just feel weird and uncomfortable even messaging them. so for now, we are on speaking terms, but not really speaking. and for now this is the way things have to be, and potentially how they will stay. because i just can't do it anymore.
on a brighter note... i am almost two months into my new job and i still love it. and my co-workers and my kids. while my after school kids stress me out sometimes because they can be crazy monsters, all my kids are great. my 5th graders, who i see the most (3 times a week) are great. even my "trouble makers" are good kids. my 6th and 3rd graders who i only see one a week are great as well. my 3rd graders, who barely speak english are just cute. and my 6th graders, while they talk a lot are overall good kids. plus i get to play the good fun teacher since they only see me once. and then there are my kindergartners... who are seriously the cutest thing ever. it doesn't matter the mood i am in... they always make it better. a perfect example would be yesterday when jungwha and i were walking down to lunch and we ran into some of my kindergartners coming out of the bathroom and they literally freaked out when they saw me. ran up to me hugging me, giggling and just overall being adorable. i was talking to a friend last night at dinner and we both said that even though we are both way busier this year with teaching and such, we are way less stressed than we were last year. and i really think a lot of that has to do with the kids and the environment i am in. i just feel better about things and my situation.
grad school is still going well... even though i still continually procrastinate on all my homework. it's a trait about myself that i've embraced. it doesn't matter the assignment, i am going to wait till the last minute to do it. it will get done eventually. i am officially half way through my current class. which has been going pretty well. i've enjoyed it so far. i have 2 individual assigments left, a group project and my final project and then i will be done with this class. as of now i have 5 classes after this one till i am done with my program. if i stay on the schedule i am on now, i should be done by the beginning of april. though i have a feeling i will be taking another two week break come january for my winter vacation like i did this last winter.
speaking of winter vacation... yes i have already started thinking about it. steph and i had dinner last night and started talking about what we wanted to do... we are thinking of going to visit clara in australia with maybe a stop over somewhere else beforehand. that means two countries during vacation... i could be perfectly okay with that! we will see.
so a few weeks ago i wrote a blogpost for my alma mater's alumni blog about my time abroad. i posted the link to facebook, but if you haven't checked it out, you should:
http://pacificalumni.blogspot.com/2012/04/new-perspective-on-education.html
spring is finally here in korea... which also means my allergies are in full swing. this week they hit not only me but a lot of my friends as well. i wake up completely congested, have a continuous running nose, and sneeze constantly. i guess this is all worth it though because it is no longer freezing cold! and speaking of the doctors... i went back in to get my blood drawn to check on my anemia on wednesday... here's hoping i get good results next week. that means i won't have to deal with anymore needles or nurses who can't draw blood without bruising me.
i guess this is a long enough update on my current life situation, plus i should probably get to lesson planning for next week. and my homework. and my to-do list.
Sunday, April 1, 2012
we have had the time of our lives, now the page is turned
i woke up this morning after a night out in seoul with all these thought running through my head and no way to sort them out individually. rather my mind just threw them all out there at once and i slowly had to sort through them and try to understand what i was thinking and how i was feeling about each thought. this seems to be something that my mind does around the same time every week. since i am so incredibly busy and always on the go during the week, i don't have idle time where my mind can process my thoughts. so rather it stores all my thoughts and concerns throughout the week and then either saturday or sunday morning when i am lying in bed debating whether or not i should get up or go back to sleep my mind explodes with all these thoughts. and i am left to clean up the mess that they leave behind.
so i laid in bed for a while going through all these thoughts, many of them the same ones i have over and over again. after getting irritated with myself, i naturally logged onto my computer and went to facebook. while scrolling through my news feed i came across a status update by a friend i have here in korea, which was worded exactly how i was feeling. it said, "the mix of joy and sadness that i feel after parting ways with a beloved friend is always a hard pill for me to swallow. i will never have the strength to walk away without feeling that tug on my heart weighing me down. for this, i am glad, because it means i have not become cold and callous to this world yet". this is exactly what i needed to hear and it made the whole situation with said friend who i am not on speaking terms with at the moment a little bit easier. it helped me realize that no matter what happens, i am not going to be able to be the person that just drops it and doesn't care what happens. i am not that person, and wouldn't want to be. i want to be the person that cares and if that means getting hurt along the way, i would rather be hurt than not feel anything at all. along the lines of said friend, because i care, i naturally am always going to wonder why? why the instant and extended silent treatment after everything that has happened between us? what brought it on and is it ever going to end? and because i care, i also have to be aware that more than likely i won't get the answers i'm looking for and i need to somehow be okay with that. because i care i just want some sort of closure so i can stop worrying about it. but this is also something i will likely not get.
naturally grad school is always on my mind. i feel like a lot of my free time and thoughts go into it. whether it's my discussion questions for the week or the assignment i have for the week. i know right now my classes are going to seem like they consume my life at times, but in the end it will be worth it. i will be done with school and holding a master's degree. which one would hope would help in the ever going job search.
now that i am beginning my second year here in korea, and it's now april, the whole homesickness aspect of things i feel starting to creep up in my mind. as of now i haven't been home in 13 months, that is the longest i have lived outside of the united states ever and the longest i have been away from home. for me that is a big step. and there are times where i can feel it taking it's toll on me. i wake up missing my family, my friends and loved ones. there are days, like today, where i wake up and i feel like i am missing out on so many things at home. birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, births etc. by being over here. but i have to remind myself that i am over here living my life to the fullest and pursuing a dream i had only once dreamed of. i am making memories that are going to last a lifetime. i am experiencing so many new things. i am getting to live the dream that so many people wish they could do. i am so grateful for the opportunities that i have been given over the past 13 months and i am looking forward to what the next 11 months are going to bring to me.
the future is always another thought that lingers in my mind. i don't know how many times i have gotten the questions, "are you going to stay for another year after this?" "what are you going to do next?" "are you going back to the states?" etc etc etc. all the questions i hate getting. right now, i am living in the present, day by day and enjoying it. i have no idea where i am going to be and what i am going to be doing a year from now. i could be here in korea again, back in the states, in another country or a completely different part of the world. everything is up in the air as of now, and for the first time in a long time, i am perfectly okay with this. i can't plan my entire life right now, so there is no point in stressing about it.
i do have a few ideas to think about though. i have thought of staying in korea for another year after this. which this is just the beginning of my 2nd year and there is plenty of time to change my mind, i can't help but thinking how much i enjoy it here. i could do plenty of research and find another job in another country. i could apply for jobs through the DODEA (department of defense education activity) and work in a school on one of the military bases around the world. (this is something i would KILL to have the opportunity to do. getting a job with the DOD would be AMAZING!) i have also thought about doing teach for america. i requested a bunch of information today.
i just feel like i am destined for something so much bigger than moving back to oregon, finding a job there and settling for that. i don't want to settle. i want to be able to dream big and then go after my dreams full force. and while i do feel like i am missing out on what most of my other friends have, going the more traditional path of school, jobs, marriage and families, i wouldn't change what i have done or am doing for anything. while i do what to one day find love and have the love and family that i see my friends having, i want to be able to say i fulfilled my dreams as well.
so for now, i will sleep and begin a new week with the ability to say that i still loving what i am doing.
so i laid in bed for a while going through all these thoughts, many of them the same ones i have over and over again. after getting irritated with myself, i naturally logged onto my computer and went to facebook. while scrolling through my news feed i came across a status update by a friend i have here in korea, which was worded exactly how i was feeling. it said, "the mix of joy and sadness that i feel after parting ways with a beloved friend is always a hard pill for me to swallow. i will never have the strength to walk away without feeling that tug on my heart weighing me down. for this, i am glad, because it means i have not become cold and callous to this world yet". this is exactly what i needed to hear and it made the whole situation with said friend who i am not on speaking terms with at the moment a little bit easier. it helped me realize that no matter what happens, i am not going to be able to be the person that just drops it and doesn't care what happens. i am not that person, and wouldn't want to be. i want to be the person that cares and if that means getting hurt along the way, i would rather be hurt than not feel anything at all. along the lines of said friend, because i care, i naturally am always going to wonder why? why the instant and extended silent treatment after everything that has happened between us? what brought it on and is it ever going to end? and because i care, i also have to be aware that more than likely i won't get the answers i'm looking for and i need to somehow be okay with that. because i care i just want some sort of closure so i can stop worrying about it. but this is also something i will likely not get.
naturally grad school is always on my mind. i feel like a lot of my free time and thoughts go into it. whether it's my discussion questions for the week or the assignment i have for the week. i know right now my classes are going to seem like they consume my life at times, but in the end it will be worth it. i will be done with school and holding a master's degree. which one would hope would help in the ever going job search.
now that i am beginning my second year here in korea, and it's now april, the whole homesickness aspect of things i feel starting to creep up in my mind. as of now i haven't been home in 13 months, that is the longest i have lived outside of the united states ever and the longest i have been away from home. for me that is a big step. and there are times where i can feel it taking it's toll on me. i wake up missing my family, my friends and loved ones. there are days, like today, where i wake up and i feel like i am missing out on so many things at home. birthdays, anniversaries, weddings, births etc. by being over here. but i have to remind myself that i am over here living my life to the fullest and pursuing a dream i had only once dreamed of. i am making memories that are going to last a lifetime. i am experiencing so many new things. i am getting to live the dream that so many people wish they could do. i am so grateful for the opportunities that i have been given over the past 13 months and i am looking forward to what the next 11 months are going to bring to me.
the future is always another thought that lingers in my mind. i don't know how many times i have gotten the questions, "are you going to stay for another year after this?" "what are you going to do next?" "are you going back to the states?" etc etc etc. all the questions i hate getting. right now, i am living in the present, day by day and enjoying it. i have no idea where i am going to be and what i am going to be doing a year from now. i could be here in korea again, back in the states, in another country or a completely different part of the world. everything is up in the air as of now, and for the first time in a long time, i am perfectly okay with this. i can't plan my entire life right now, so there is no point in stressing about it.
i do have a few ideas to think about though. i have thought of staying in korea for another year after this. which this is just the beginning of my 2nd year and there is plenty of time to change my mind, i can't help but thinking how much i enjoy it here. i could do plenty of research and find another job in another country. i could apply for jobs through the DODEA (department of defense education activity) and work in a school on one of the military bases around the world. (this is something i would KILL to have the opportunity to do. getting a job with the DOD would be AMAZING!) i have also thought about doing teach for america. i requested a bunch of information today.
i just feel like i am destined for something so much bigger than moving back to oregon, finding a job there and settling for that. i don't want to settle. i want to be able to dream big and then go after my dreams full force. and while i do feel like i am missing out on what most of my other friends have, going the more traditional path of school, jobs, marriage and families, i wouldn't change what i have done or am doing for anything. while i do what to one day find love and have the love and family that i see my friends having, i want to be able to say i fulfilled my dreams as well.
so for now, i will sleep and begin a new week with the ability to say that i still loving what i am doing.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
wish i didn't have this heart, then i wouldn't know the sting of the rain
my mind is seriously all over the place right now, so this blog post is definitely going to be extremely random and have no significant order at all. we'll call it chaotic, which i feel like this is what my life has become.
so my sleep schedule is completely screwed up right now. with as much as i was stressing about my gigantic homework assignment last week, i was up until god awful hours in the middle of the night plugging away on my computer. while i have slept a significant amount from thursday through last night, i don't think my body is fully caught up with what i lost during the stress.
BUT.... i am officially done with class number 3 for grad school. which means i am 6 classes away from being done with my master's degree! :) which is extremely exciting. and also a little scary. i can't believe how fast time is going by. i am almost a month into my 2nd contract here in korea as well. crazy stuff.
my itunes is being really shitty lately... it's seriously playing all the music that i could seriously do without. some of it i am not entirely sure why or even how it got into my itunes in the first place. and if my itunes or my ipod plays one more damn garth brooks song i am going to scream. it's like they are taunting me. good god.
i actually had a social life this weekend... as opposed to not seeing anyone and spending a good portion of my saturday in the hospital like i did last weekend. yeesh! but saturday was spent sleeping in, or at least as much as my body would let me. for some god awful reason my body naturally wakes up at 7am on the weekend. it's 5:45am during the week, even though i don't have to be up till like 6:30 or so. so after i got up and got ready for the day, i did some necessary retail therapy with roooooooommate. forever21 and H&M like always. scored a cute polka dot tank, a really pretty teal cardigan, 4 pairs of earrings and a set of bangles from forever21. i found an adorable pink lace dress and a teal shirt from H&M. i wish more of the dresses that i tried on fit me, but because i have curves, a butt and boobs, this was not the case this time around. after heading back home, i grabbed dinner and drinks with laura and company. today was spent in itaewon for brunch. as usual. an excellent tradition that has been started. i could get used to it. after brunch we went to what the book and went book hunting... and i actually walked out of there with nothing. shocking i know. then was the adventure to get tony a phone... oh good lord it took so long and the place was sooooooooooo hot. laura and i were dying.
so i didn't do any homework this weekend, or the prep stuff i brought home from work to do either. and you know what... i'm perfectly okay with that. because i had a social life and it was wonderful. i feel like lately i have become somewhat of a hermit, which is understandable considering most of the time i am swamped with homework and/or work stuff. it helps in the saving of money area of things. cause i'm not going out on the weekend for drinks and staying out all night and i haven't gone shopping all that much lately cause i just don't have the free time.
so my trip to the hospital last weekend was initiated by my doctor who did my health check a couple months ago. he noticed that my iron levels were low, which i have always known. i'm anemic, so much so that i can't give blood. well he wanted to check to see if my levels had evened out at all. so this required me to have copious amounts of blood drawn and get multiple tests ran. i hate needles. and nurses who don't know how to use them. and hospitals. blech! well turns out i got my results back and my iron levels have gotten even lower. lovely... just lovely. so he informed me i need to start taking iron supplements (which btw are extremely hard to find in korea) and i need to start eating food that is high in iron. which means more red meet and leafy dark greens. guess that means i will have to actually start buying meat here. which is hard when you cook for one person and don't have a working freezer. stupid landlord won't fix my current problem and won't replace it either.
i also went to the dermatologist cause this stupid korea weather is screwing with my complexion. the stress probably doesn't help either, but i wish i could get it under control. i'm almost 25 freaking years old. i shouldn't have this crap anymore dammit! on the plus side, after my scaling of my face, i get a nice facial treatment.
my parents sent out my packages on saturday my time. so hopefully i will have them in a week or so. which means i will get my new shoes i ordered from nordstrom, my jeans from AE and my other clothes from LOFT that i ordered online what feels like ages ago. and other things i requested from my parents. i'm excited. :)
we have gone 3 weeks without speaking now. which when i think about it, still upsets me. because this is me and for some ungodly reason i care about you. but i have moved into a stage of anger about it as well. i just don't understand it. so i'm going to continue not to say anything cause i know it's the right thing to do. even though my insides are screaming at me to say something. and i know that i can write this with full knowledge that you aren't actually going to read it.
listening to "cold as stone" by lady antebellum on repeat as i turn out the lights and call it a night.
so my sleep schedule is completely screwed up right now. with as much as i was stressing about my gigantic homework assignment last week, i was up until god awful hours in the middle of the night plugging away on my computer. while i have slept a significant amount from thursday through last night, i don't think my body is fully caught up with what i lost during the stress.
BUT.... i am officially done with class number 3 for grad school. which means i am 6 classes away from being done with my master's degree! :) which is extremely exciting. and also a little scary. i can't believe how fast time is going by. i am almost a month into my 2nd contract here in korea as well. crazy stuff.
my itunes is being really shitty lately... it's seriously playing all the music that i could seriously do without. some of it i am not entirely sure why or even how it got into my itunes in the first place. and if my itunes or my ipod plays one more damn garth brooks song i am going to scream. it's like they are taunting me. good god.
i actually had a social life this weekend... as opposed to not seeing anyone and spending a good portion of my saturday in the hospital like i did last weekend. yeesh! but saturday was spent sleeping in, or at least as much as my body would let me. for some god awful reason my body naturally wakes up at 7am on the weekend. it's 5:45am during the week, even though i don't have to be up till like 6:30 or so. so after i got up and got ready for the day, i did some necessary retail therapy with roooooooommate. forever21 and H&M like always. scored a cute polka dot tank, a really pretty teal cardigan, 4 pairs of earrings and a set of bangles from forever21. i found an adorable pink lace dress and a teal shirt from H&M. i wish more of the dresses that i tried on fit me, but because i have curves, a butt and boobs, this was not the case this time around. after heading back home, i grabbed dinner and drinks with laura and company. today was spent in itaewon for brunch. as usual. an excellent tradition that has been started. i could get used to it. after brunch we went to what the book and went book hunting... and i actually walked out of there with nothing. shocking i know. then was the adventure to get tony a phone... oh good lord it took so long and the place was sooooooooooo hot. laura and i were dying.
so i didn't do any homework this weekend, or the prep stuff i brought home from work to do either. and you know what... i'm perfectly okay with that. because i had a social life and it was wonderful. i feel like lately i have become somewhat of a hermit, which is understandable considering most of the time i am swamped with homework and/or work stuff. it helps in the saving of money area of things. cause i'm not going out on the weekend for drinks and staying out all night and i haven't gone shopping all that much lately cause i just don't have the free time.
so my trip to the hospital last weekend was initiated by my doctor who did my health check a couple months ago. he noticed that my iron levels were low, which i have always known. i'm anemic, so much so that i can't give blood. well he wanted to check to see if my levels had evened out at all. so this required me to have copious amounts of blood drawn and get multiple tests ran. i hate needles. and nurses who don't know how to use them. and hospitals. blech! well turns out i got my results back and my iron levels have gotten even lower. lovely... just lovely. so he informed me i need to start taking iron supplements (which btw are extremely hard to find in korea) and i need to start eating food that is high in iron. which means more red meet and leafy dark greens. guess that means i will have to actually start buying meat here. which is hard when you cook for one person and don't have a working freezer. stupid landlord won't fix my current problem and won't replace it either.
i also went to the dermatologist cause this stupid korea weather is screwing with my complexion. the stress probably doesn't help either, but i wish i could get it under control. i'm almost 25 freaking years old. i shouldn't have this crap anymore dammit! on the plus side, after my scaling of my face, i get a nice facial treatment.
my parents sent out my packages on saturday my time. so hopefully i will have them in a week or so. which means i will get my new shoes i ordered from nordstrom, my jeans from AE and my other clothes from LOFT that i ordered online what feels like ages ago. and other things i requested from my parents. i'm excited. :)
we have gone 3 weeks without speaking now. which when i think about it, still upsets me. because this is me and for some ungodly reason i care about you. but i have moved into a stage of anger about it as well. i just don't understand it. so i'm going to continue not to say anything cause i know it's the right thing to do. even though my insides are screaming at me to say something. and i know that i can write this with full knowledge that you aren't actually going to read it.
listening to "cold as stone" by lady antebellum on repeat as i turn out the lights and call it a night.
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